Road Cycling: The stuff I think about while on the Bike

I love this thread.  The Gnat one is probably my favorite!  Still laughing - only because I have eaten my fair share of gnats.

While riding, I always moo at the cows, bark at the dogs, and "caw" at the crows. I also speak pigeon!  I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this.  We pass llamas on the route but don't know what sound they make.

Things that come to mind... 

Gosh, if I can see through their cycling shorts, I wonder if the guy behind me can see through mine? YIKES, better speed up!

I'm not addicted to cycling... I can stop anytime....like tomorrow...wait..no not tomorrow...time trials are tomorrow...maybe Thursday...nope not Thursday..I teach spin class. Friday..nope..Saturday...Rally..nope... Sunday....group ride..D'OH! I AM addicted!

Who thought to put all these hills in Texas?

Why is it that the headwinds follow us on every turn?

I can climb this hill like a mountain goat! Yeah let's go! (Pain by Three Days Grace starts up in my head)...

For every hill, there's a downhi --- what? --- another HILL????

What was I thinking getting a cycle computer with the % grade option?!

What?! Only 12% grade?!  I'm dying here! Geez!

 

So True!

And the gnats, what's worse is not seeing them but feeling them pelt you in your face. Time to tuck in my head and breathe.

I have a love/hate relationship with dogs. I love them when I'm walking but hate tem when I'm on my bike. It doesn't matter if they are behind a fence, or on a leash, I look at them with suspicion. Having had to out maneuver two packs back to back one day, I never trust them.

Flowers blooming on the sides of the road are always the same sunflowers seen in France in July. 

Keep my right foot flat. I have a tendancy to pivot my foot as I pedal.

Need a new saddle, Oh, I got my new saddle, how does it feel? Is it adjusted properly. Does it feel wierd only because it's new?

I have to agree with the others as to how a headwind can blow in both directions as I head out and come back, even when off in the distance I can see that is should be the other way around.

After reading all these, I'm going to have to pay attention to what I think when I'm out on a ride and come back and write more later.

 

I also moo at cows and talk to horses.  I think some of them really know me by now :-).

 A few of mine:

-Was that a bug that just hit my arm... felt like a bird.

-What would I do if that snake were alive?   (I still have not came across a live one, just lots of splattered ones)

-Ugh.. another stinky dead animal

-Ration water, ration water, two sips now, two sips after the hill, two sips.....

-Gawd.  Can he/she get any closer? 

 

 

 

 What I think of while riding...

 1.  That song from Spongebob, "Sweet, sweet, sweet, victory"...

2.   How stupid some of my relatives and inlaws are...

3.   Where the &#-* did I pack my peanut butter sandwich...

4.   So DOG, we meet again!  Come on over here and let me show you what's in this little white cannister...

5.   What are on all of those CD-R's that i keep seeing on the side of the road...

6.   Is that piss or beer in that bottle?...

7.    yep, it was piss...

8.    We've got plenty of prisoners in the county lock-up, why the hell do we still have all these potholes?...

9.    How stupid some of my relatives and inlaws are...

10.   Possum!!!

BTW, lhargis wrote:

"I also moo at cows and talk to horses.  I think some of them really know me by now. "

You better watch yourself man.  Those cows may look dumb, but they are really the muscle behind an animal-kingdom takeover that is being plotted by the cats...

My rides are very rural...

• That dead racoon is sure going to stink
• Wonder when the smell of that racoon will be gone
• Hopefully these drivers flying by me are not texting while driving
• This doesn't look familiar (usually a mile or two after missing my turn)
• Why is this friggin idiot passing me at the top of a hill
• So many deer
• Nice cows
• Look! a mouse

I hate the wind. Why is the wind in my face no matter which direction I ride? My butt hurts like no other. Will my butt ever get used to this? I wonder if there are saddles with thicker gel? Does this do permanent dammage? Dang that stupid wind. and so on.

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my mind runs wild when im on the bike i think of some demented stuff like......
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that doctors an idot telling my wife i need to quit smoking  get excerise and not to eat potato chips before bed  i need a new doctor
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mile 1....       wow this bike riding is pretty cool i think im gonna like this
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mile 3....    here comes a bunch of bikes cool  ..wait a min there all in spandex   i dont think any of them had hair on there legs is this bike riding gonna make the hair fall off my legs cause this Freakin seat is ripping it out my a$$
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mile 5... what the hell are they beeping at.....i wonder if that horn sounds the same if i ram it up his ...well you get the idea
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mile 7 .... yuck what kinda bug was that it was huge i wonder how many cals. that was    the doc will probly tell me i cant eat those either.....    jerk
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mile 9....another up hill ..come on ..this bike riding sucks maybe the doc ment i need a motorcycle when he said i should take up riding ...ill run that by the wife when i get home
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mile 11.... i need a store where the hell is that wawa that guy that posted this route on map my ride said was around here.... hes a liar anyway he said nice ride pretty flat with low traffic     hes probly riding a harley anyway
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mile 12....aaahhh wawa there it is good i need something to drink....... wait a min i think thats my doctor on line in front of me... whats he buying marlboro reds and a big bag of cool ranch doritos .....is that a hummer hes getting in  
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mile 14 ....are my pants on fire why are my legs burning like that is that another hill ....
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mile 16 .... this wind sucks  how far from home am i ....wheres my cell phone im calling a cab thell take me home.... my bike will fit if not ill just leave it here 
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mile 17 to 21 ..... wow where did she come from ...how the hell did she pass me like that ....i think i can see tru her shorts speed up and try and get a better look ....wow she has the perfect set of legs  ....shes smiling what is she saying .....i need bike shorts ide be more comfortable if i had the right gear
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mile 22 to home .... ok now that i know i love this bike riding i need to get a real bike this one is a junk    
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ok  now that im home mile 17 to 21 nothing hurt and i kept my best pace by far  some things motivate more than others
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i ran the whole motorcycle thing by the wife i must say i havent seen her laugh that hard in 20 years
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the next morning i went to the bathroom there was something glowing really bright in the bowl turns out that big bug(mile 7 ) was a lighting bug
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i did say demented right
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<a href="mailto:nycity67@yahoo.com">nycity67@yahoo.com</a>          pasquale67 on here
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Pre dawn Morning commute 1:

This headlight is really dim... it's ok for walking with... gotta fix my good lights...is that one or two pedestirans...one...two...one...slow down...ok definately one...why do they wear black to go walking...this light sux, not gonna use it anymore at night.

Pre-dawn morning commute 2:

Glad i fixed these good (home made) lights they rock...low beam, awesome, high beam unbelievable, no slowing down today...think i just blinded a pedestrian...ha ha ha...wait..what an idiot...why did i put my sunglasses on this morning, it's ^$%&%# pitch black out here!...these light rock, i can wear sunnies in the dark...note to self find clear glasses for tomorrow...must have been on autopilot this morning!..Clear glasses then the lights will really rock!

Thoughts on today's ride:

"Why are there peacocks(?) on a mililtary base. Don't we have someone to take care of that."

zero2onehundred.wordpress.com 

Wow that looks cool... Oh **** I almost ran off the curb, I need to focus.

 God I hope I don't run off that 30 foot drop to my right... please don't let me run off it, oh geez it would hurt if I accidently did that... oh **** i'd better focus on the road.

Um, I hope this is over soon, my rear is getting sore... more chamois butter next time maybe.

 Um, please don't let something break on my bike, I can't afford to replace anything on it.

**** That cyclist just blew past me on this hill. He made it look easy, I'm dyin' here. Oh, look at his CALFS, I guess he deserves to pass me.

I think I need to raise my seat post... nah maybe not. Should I adjust my cleats? Road, road, road, road, road, worry about the cleats later