Lobby: Bowel Evacuation

For the first time in my life my Doctor told me I need to lose weight, my cholesterol is high.  Diet and exercise is prescribed.  What happened, how did I get this way? 

D I V O R C E

No further explanation needed.

A friend from work gave me a link to mapmywalk, last night I checked it out and decided to take a walk Sunday morning.  This suits me much better than waiting for the Y to open up at noon, by then I normally talk my self out of my work out and do something else, anything immobile.  Early morning works best for me; life is too fast and gets in the way most everyday. 

I made sure and hit the ladies room before I headed out the door.  I’m regular like nobodies business.  I’m almost to the park entrance, and I’ve got to go again.  I haven’t eaten anything yet, but had plenty of water.  Food, water or exercise will push anything out my backdoor.

D A M N

Where the fucks the bathroom?  Which building is it?  They all look like mini shelters.  I’m one fart away from sharting my pants.  Its 7:45am, there’s enough people for lack of privacy but that doesn’t stop me.  The first building off to the left furthest away from humanity becomes my desperate destination.  I duck behind the building drop my pants, instant bowel evacuation.

R E L I E F

Had I pinched my cheeks for another block, I would have run across the restroom, duly noted.

I love this time of year, the leaves on the trees have a secret to tell, you can be sure it will be colorful.

Down the path, maybe a quarter of the way through and two deer appear.  They stopped right in front of the dusty limestone path like they were at a crosswalk.  After they looked both ways, they pranced off.

Oh and I saw a little bunny too, it let me get real close before it jack knifed into the meadow near the hardwood forest.

People were running, jogging, walking faster than me and biking.  I felt like a speed bump.

I did it, I walked 9 miles in 3 hours, it would have been shorter but nature called!

~d~