Road Cycling: The stuff I think about while on the Bike

Thanks for posting this topic.  Great idea.  Maybe we can do a book on OTHER people's things they think about on the bike.  We'll change the names to protect people's identities though since I get the feeling some of this thread is going to get pretty wierd.

 So here are some of mine....

• Since I often cycle to explore new parts of New Jersey, I often end up in new areas I've never seen.  When I am in one of these far flung regions I often think, "If I get lost, how will I make it home?"  Then I get a slightly panicked feeling and end up checking my queue sheet a dozen times to make sure I'm in the right place.  Then it occurs to me...."Oh wait...New Jersey is the size of an 88 Yugo.  How lost can I really get?"  And then I remind myself, "Oh and I have a cell phone so I can call home for a ride home."
• When I've been on a long ride and the headwinds start pushing against me, I can often go for 20 miles repeating the mantra "Why am I doing this?"  "Why am I doing this?"  "Why am I doing this?"  "Why am I doing this?", etc

Thoughts on a ride:

• OK, that's .1 miles down. How much farther do I really need to go?
• Dang-Nab it!!!! Why did the county road crew pick this week to screw up THIS road?
• 5 miles down. I've seen more cows, llamas, and goats than cars this morning. What a great ride!!!!
• Whose dog is this chasing me down the street?
• 10 miles down. Where the heck am I, and where is that banjo music coming from?????
• Will I really need to cut the grass when I get home, or can it wait until tomorrow?
• Should have brought an extra PowerAde bottle. Not going to make it much longer without more.
• There's the house. Will the weather hold tomorrow so I can do this again this weekend?
• Is there really a picture of a bike rider in the dictionary next to the definition of 'masochist?'

Here is a thought that pops into my head almost every ride...

•  Does my head look big in this helmet?

 I will often think these items also

• Can I outrun that guy on the $57,000 road bike up ahead?
• Does my ass look big in this spandex?

 This past summer, I was riding almost every single day which was heaven.  I constantly saw people in my neighborhood mowing their lawns, sealing their driveways, staining their decks, etc.  When I saw all of their work I thought :

• "Note to self: Don't buy a house."

Let's see..

1. F%$^ where the h377 am I?  (I get very lost...a lot)

2. Does that car see me?

3. (in this winter) Cold fingers...cold fingers...cold fingers

4. You can't stop the music....you can't stop the music...
    I love rock and roll...
    (Assorted song lyrics)

5. Great ideas for my research...

6. Awesome choreography/ Lines from whatever show/play/etc... I'm working on

7. Who the F&^5 maintains this road (Or who ISN'T maintaining this road)

8. If I see one more F&^% pothole!!!

9. Oh is that the car that hit me last month?!?

10.  Oh S&^5 stop sign!

(The funny thing is that I NEVER curse...or think curse words...unless I'm cycling...hmmm...)

11. I'm gonna beat the hill.

12. Why don't my brakes work/why won't it shift (whatever mechanical problem I'm having at the time)

13.  Sometimes I can get into a semi-meditative state

14. Ooooh. that's pretty

15. Various observations about the people I pass

16. I know this jersey makes me look fat

Got some new ones this morning:

This view brought to you by...your legs...sponsored by Chiquita bananna! 

Ooo I have frozen grapes in the freezer

Why am I focusing on food, I'm not hungry....yeah but I'm ingnoring this hill, that's why. 

If you don't get up the hill you'll never get those grapes. 

(In LOVE frozen grapes)

I was just thinking this weekend when I was out on my bike what a great time it is to think. I probably knew this, but it has been a while since I got out for a good length ride.

 When I first started riding this summer I blogged about my rides, what I saw, heard, etc. I often wrote along my thought process. The world looks a lot different from a bike than a car.

Something I thought this weekend when I was out: Who discards a turkey alongside the rode? and how long has it been there? Gross! (this is a whole uncooked - except by the sun - turkey, halfway still in the plastic, smelling up the bike lane.)

this hill is almost over...just keep pedaling, but not to hard because i can feel a cramp coming on in my left calf...just on the otherside of this curve the hill will be over...damnit, it keeps going...ugh?!

i should buy another cage for a second water bottle, i am dieing of thirst.

i wish i could ride longer.

Usually I'm just zoning, not thinking about much but when I do it's often things like...

Don't look up, just pedal.

I used to like hills.

Various epithets about drivers.

Just go another few miles then head home.

That was so worth it.

I climbed that?  Awesome.

Dang, dropped again.

I should fix that before it gets worse.

A few random ones from this morning: 

Should I see a doctor about that pain in my right hip?---Eek. Ice.--- How come my hands warm up in time for my feet to get cold, can't they both be warm at the same time?---He's not seen me, he's not seen me, he's not seen me, he's seen me.---If I ride tomorrow and the day after, I need 4 rides next week to do more miles than last month---Just be faster than yesterday---The weight of these extra clothes must be why I'm slow in winter---Do I really need those Ultegra brakes?  No, but I want them anyway---Maybe two pairs of thinner socks would work---It’s still better than working out in the basement--The frozen snot on the tache thing really works

"I also worry about road kill and a car coming along at that very moment and running it over next to me, squirting road kill juice on me."

One time my friend and I were approaching a fresh dead deer that was laying in the middle of the lane.  We were riding the shoulder and as we approached, a huge suburban passed us and veared just enough to smash into the deer carcus.  The deer exploded!  There was a cloud of deer matter.  You could hear peices of deer patter to the ground.  Fortunately we were not close enough to get showered with the deer dust, but the smell stayed with us.  We had to stop and check ourselves to be sure we weren't touched by any of the deer.

I sometimes think about that when I see a dead deer.  It is one of the grossest and yet coolest things I have ever seen.

This year will be my fourth year as a (more or less) serious cyclist.  It seems that my thoughts have evolved somewhat, since the beginning.

Year 1, in which I bought a Walmart special bike and started out by riding around the neighborhood:

• I hope nobody makes fun of this fat girl riding a bike (I weighed over 200 pounds when I first started.)
• Wow, this neighborhood has lots of interesting things in its alleys,and far more dogs than I realized. 
• Honeysuckle smells seriously divine.
• You know, I wonder if I could actually go out and ride on the country roads....

Year 2, in which I traded the Walmart special bike for my current Trek Hybrid:

• Holy cow, I can actually go out and ride on country roads, and I love it!
• I can't believe I'm actually doing this!  (By this point, I was down to about 160 or so pounds.)
• I rode all the way out here!  Hope I can make it back home....

Year 3 (last year,) in which I had reached weight maintenance level and was in the best shape I've ever been in:

• I can't believe I'm actually doing this!
• It only takes 15 minutes to get here by car....
• Okay, seriously.  I thought it was totally impossible for the wind to be blowing from three directions at once, but whatta ya know!?
• I just rode 30 miles for the first time ever!  Yah!
• I totally didn't eat enough for riding 30 miles, no wonder I'm about to pass out.
• F***ing wind!  Can I please have one day of wind-free peace???

Year 4 (current,) in which I'm waiting out the winter and passing the time with Spinervals workouts:

• Okay, I want a road bike this year.
• Okay, I need a road bike.
• Okay, it is imperative that I purchase a road bike with this year's tax refund.
• Is it spring yet???

Thoughts from my last 2008 bike commute in Wisconsin:

I can still feel my toes.

Can I still feel my toes? Can I still feel the ball of my foot?!

If I had taken the bus most of the way, I would be able to feel my toes right now.

Should I wear those size 12 Sorrels tomorrow? How much longer would it take me to make the commute if I took the bus? I hate the feeling of not feeling my toes or foot!

Today's January bike & bus commute after nearly 2 months off, -20 AM wind chill:

What the... Damn, that ice bank would have been bad to land on. Glad I was not clipped in! I'm really glad I bought these studded tires! What was I looking at the derailleur for anyway? Pay attention!

I should have taken my front rack off. Is my bike going to fall off the rack and become a roadkill relic under this bus?

I can wiggle my toes, but it's only been a couple of miles. If I wore a set of felt boot liners over my shoes instead of these shoe covers, could I skip the bus? Would I need to worry about my toes so much?

If I got a flat right now, how am I going to change the tube when it is this bleeping cold? No way, no how. I would have to call a cab. What would I do with the bike? I need to program the cab number into my phone!

If my eyelashes keep frosting up like this, I may not be able to get them thawed out without taking off my gloves. I don't want to take off my gloves!

First post gang. I really like these forums.

As a total newbie to cycling, I was warapping up about mile 35 of a 50 miler when this thought popped into my head.

"Those bike shorts the pro tried to sell me sound like a real good idea now."

I don't care how dorky they look, I'm definitely picking up some proper cycling wear! My unmentionables will be the better for it.

'Smokediver' also shaving you legs makes your calves look fierce.  Part of being a true blue cyclist you have to support your local bike shop, but there are some affordable places to order cycling gear online.  Nashbar is one of those, but it is are hard to beat the human aspect of a bike shop.  One thing I have noticed about bikeshop pros is that they are not usually going to try to sell you things you don't need.  They are interested in promoting cycling and therefore deal pretty honestly.  When i bought my first road bike they made some suggestions for a few things.  I said I am working on the cheap (I didn't really think they were necessary).  I was back within a month to buy each of those items.

Common thoughts include -

• I'm hungry.
• Why am I doing this again? There's still snow on the road.

• Man, my bike is quiet.
• Man, my bike is noisy.
• How can the wind being blowing in my face on the way out and the way in?
• Yet another guy who is too cool to wave back.
• Dim your brights, Jerkoff!
• I love riding!

What funny posts!!

I think of things like..

• Concentrating on diverting all my energy to my legs and not tense up like I used to
• "Where did this wind come from all of a sudden?"
• "Oh crap a pot hole!"
• (like UncleLarry) "Another guy too cool to wave/nod back.."
• "Wow I really need a new seat!"
• "I should also probably get some biking shorts..."
• "Did I mention I need a new seat?"
• "I hope I don't get a weird tan"
• "That was really only ___ miles??"
• "Go back to driving school!"
• "Didn't you learn you have to look both ways?"

And the ever popular "Does anyone drive without talking on a cell phone anymore?!"

Just keep spinning, Just keep spinning, Just keep spinning, spinnin', spinnin'

Fork in the road: Up hill or Down hill? I always pick up.

Are my pedal strokes symmetrical?

Milf!

What's for dinner?

I wonder if there is another bicyclist on this road?  Let's go catch 'em!

I love passing slower riders! hehe

Effin' STOP SIGNS!

Haha! I'm going faster than the speed limit! Can the police pull me over?

Left = Home, Right = 10 more miles?

I LOVE TO RIDE!